On Love, In Sadness
by galvantic
Summary: What would happen if Star never returned in "How Long Is Forever" and the rest of the Titans were left to fight on their own? RobRae BBRae and a little RobStar.
1. Chapter 1

**On Love, In Sadness**

Alternate Title: Whatever Happened to Infinity Plus One?

I don't own Teen Titans, etc. Rated PG-13 for language and very mild violence. Rating might change later in fic, but as of now probably not. Title named after a Jason Mraz song which I also don't own.

A/N: This is those 20 years that happened if Starfire had never returned in "How Long is Forever?" I'm not obsessed with that episode or anything, but I thought it would be an interesting idea if one Titan just disappeared and then boom, this episode basically handed me a fanfic. And plus, since it was Star, that means I don't have to worry about writing like she talks! Yay!

Chapter 1

"Starfire!" Robin screamed as the tunnel closed inches from his grasp.

"Um… where did she go?" Beast Boy shrugged, glancing around the room.

"Damnit! Star!"

"She's… gone?" Cyborg questioned, advancing slowly toward the spot where a worm tunnel once stood.

"No, she can't be. It's just… she's been transported. To somewhere else. We have to search for her!"

"Robin, calm down. We're not going to get anywhere with you acting like this," Raven mumbled, carefully examining the area.

It took Robin a minute not to blow up. He was getting pretty close to it. How could they all act as if nothing had happened? They were all merely standing there, looking around as if that would solve everything. He felt a tingle on his neck and glanced back at Raven. She was staring at him intently. Suddenly he felt much more relaxed and in control. He smiled at her slightly.

"You're… right Raven. We have to be rational. Let's split up. Search all the dark places Warp might have taken her."

"Hate to break it to you, man, but I'm not sure that's going to work. Think about it. That was a wormhole going through time. That means Star is no longer in the present. She's… somewhere else. Somewhere we can't get to."

"No, Cyborg. That's not the case. We have to be able to get to her. And if she's not in our time… we'll… make a time machine! If they have them in the future it must be possible somehow."

"Warp said he was from 100 years in the future. That's a pretty long time to be able to invent time travel. And even if we did somehow come up with some machine, how would we know exactly where she was? Was he rounding when he said 100? It could really be 101 years or 98 or 95. Then if we finally got the year, how would we get the month? The day? That's not even including how we'd find the place they'd end up. Time is much too large to explore," Cyborg explained, staring straightforward to avoid eye contact with Robin.

The calmness he once felt was gradually leaving his swarming head. "You know, your logic is really starting to piss me off."

"Hey, man, I'm just calling it like I see it. I want Star back as much as you but we have to be honest with ourselves. We can't go chasing something that's not there," Cyborg said, turning to face Robin defiantly. Robin's blood began to boil.

"You couldn't possibly even begin to understand how much I want her back. All you think about is yourself and… and… you never even cared about her and… AHH!" Robin screamed, forgetting words as he lunged toward his friend.

Suddenly a green gorilla appeared between Robin and his target. Robin fell right into the large monkey's grasp. Slowly Beast Boy returned to his human form, keeping his arms on Robin's shoulders.

"We have to put some faith in Starfire. She's the only one that can do anything now. Wherever she is, she's with Warp who's with the time machine thing. She's the only one that can come back to us."

"But that's so… hard." Robin turned around, carefully brushing off Beast Boy's hands. He looked at Raven who was slightly levitating with her eyes to the floor.

"I know. Waiting is the worst punishment."

* * *

Beast Boy slumped out of bed around noon. He sluggishly got dressed in his everyday clothes and headed to the main room. He then noticed the creepiest thing of all – it was quiet. Dead quiet. _Did they go on a mission without me? Shit, I'm gonna be in so much trouble._

Running down the rest of the hallway, he stopped as he finally reached his destination. To his astonishment, there were his friends. Well, three of them. Suddenly, the memories of yesterday rushed back into his head. Starfire. She was gone.

He carefully stepped over the Blor-whatever beads that still lay on the floor. None of the other Titans had touched them, and he didn't dare be the first. Cyborg was playing on his gamestation with the sound turned off. He didn't look too interested in it, however, and kept dying at the easiest parts. Robin was sitting. Just sitting. Raven was meditating silently, hovering slightly in the air.

"Hey guys," BB announced timidly. Even though his voice was quiet, it startled all the other Titans. Cyborg dropped his controller while Robin jumped 10 feet in the air. Raven opened her eyes with a jolt, but was able to keep most of her composure.

"Oh, hey man! Wanna play some 'cause I was just stopping. Gonna go lift some weights or something," Cyborg stammered as he left the room. Beast Boy glanced at him but decided to leave him on his own.

He couldn't play video games. And to think just yesterday they had both been fighting relentlessly for game time. Maybe if they hadn't been so obnoxious, Starfire wouldn't have felt obliged to jump through that hole. Maybe if they'd just given more time to that holiday thing she was ranting about, none of this would have happened.

Maybe maybe maybe.

"Maybe won't get us anywhere," Beast Boy mumbled to no one. Raven and Robin continued with their sitting. Beast Boy stood there awkwardly. Right as he was about to go hide in his room, the Titan communicator started beeping. Robin raised his head to look at the blinking red light. Raven stood up and turned to Robin. Cyborg returned from the weight room. All eyes pointed at Robin.

Robin cleared his throat. "Well, guys... Titans go?" he seemed to ask as if unsure of himself. There was a moment where no one moved. Finally, Cyborg nodded and turned to face the door. Slowly he exited, hoping for the others to follow.

One by one the remaining Titans left the room until all but Beast Boy remained. "Going to fight some bad guys? Feeling like this? This could get ugly…"

* * *

"I can't think of anything witty to say, so you're just gonna get your ass kicked!" Robin screamed, jumping on the unsuspecting burglar. To Robin's surprised, the man dodged his attack and quickly somersaulted out of the way.

"Oh, am I now. If I play my cards right, I don't think I'll have any problems," and with that he flung three razor sharp cards at Robin. Robin dodged, but one card slashed his cheek.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Cyborg yelled, preparing to sonic blast the guy into the next century. Then, suddenly, the burglar disappeared. "What the…"

"Be careful, you need a good poker face if you want to make any money," the man retorted from behind Cyborg. Cy turned around quickly only to be met with a long pole being flung at his head. Boomerang style, the poll returned to its original thrower, leaving Cyborg passed out on the floor.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Suddenly two desks flung toward the burglar, successfully hitting their mark. Raven almost smirked at her handy work, until she noticed the same man who she had assumed was under the desks standing at the door.

"It was nice playing with you all, really, but now I must leave. My name is Ace and I was happy to have the pleasure of defeating you this afternoon," the strange burglar bowed and moved to open the door.

"Not so fast!" Beast Boy yelled, changing into a cheetah and dashing after Ace. Before he could reach him, however, the strange man was gone, leaving the Titans in a complete mess.

"We… lost? Against a cheesy guy with a pole, some fancy cards, and a cheesy name like Ace?" Robin stammered.

"Hey, we're not ones to talk about cheesy," Beast Boy muttered softly, trying to be funny but failing horribly at it.

"I think we just need to go home. Anything that guy does with a few thousand will haunt us later. For now I think we could all use some rest," Raven said and the others merely nodded and were quickly enveloped into a swift black bird shadow, heading back to the tower.

* * *

A/N: Alrighty, thanks anyone who actually read this for starters. Excuse any typos or mess ups. I know there's some OOC stuff, too, but I'm trying to get away from the closer years of Star's disappearance so I can have more liberty (and thus fun) in the future chapters. Please R&R dissing it, praising it, criticizing it, whatever. Opinions are good! A few notes:

1) No, Raven making Robin feel better had nothing to do with her powers. It was just her presence there to support him which made him feel better, I'm not giving her some wacky power that makes her make people feel good.

2) Yes, I know the whole cards-theme bad guy is non-original and all of his phrases were really stupid. I was trying to be like the show in that sense (the cheesy one line phrases that bad guys say – we all know they do it!). Yes, he was kinda based on Gambit from X-Men, though very loosely. Just in the sense he has a pole and cards. I'm not planning to do a lot with him, but I needed a fresh bad guy since I don't know everything about any existing ones. I figured this would decrease the amount of mess ups along with providing less stress while writing.

Oh! And thanks so much to Ryoko at "Forever" for providing me with the transcript to "How Long Is Forever?" It was really helpful to double check a bunch of stuff!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Woah! I made it to the second chapter! Thanks so much for all ya'll who read chapter 1. I added more specific thank yous at the bottom. I hope this chapter hits everyone's standards!

Chapter 2

"Robin! Robin, I'm over here," came a voice out of the shadows.

"St… Starfire?" Robin choked, searching around him. He looked at his surroundings. There was a large wooden staircase to his left. Cobwebs hung heavily to the walls, a strong layer of dust dragging them downwards. The floorboards creaked under his shoes.

"Where are you?" Robin called into the darkness.

"I'm right here! I would so ever love it if you would join me. Oh, please, Robin, hurry!"

Her voice seemed to echo around Robin, restricting his capability of finding where she was. Searching around the room, he saw no signs of anyone, let alone Starfire. He decided to climb the eerie staircase, hoping she was upstairs.

"I'm coming! I'm coming as fast as I can!"

"But it's just not fast enough," Starfire echoed through Robin's head. She sounded so angry, Robin quickened his pace. At the top of the staircase there was another room identical to the one he had just been in, staircase and all. He decided to climb up this second staircase and quickened to a run.

"I don't know where you are, Starfire! I can't see you in here!"

"That is because I am not here. I am out of your grasp. I am somewhere you cannot get to."

Robin jerked to a halt on his fifth staircase. "Why? Why can't I get you?"

"Because you don't want to."

* * *

"Are you okay? You tossed and turned all last night. I could barely get any sleep myself," Raven turned to Robin as she saw him open his eyes. She lifted her hand and brought the tray of pancakes and orange juice from the table across the room to their bed.

Robin wiped the cold sweat off his forehead. A dream. It had all been merely a dream.

"Robin?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm fine. Just a nightmare, I suppose," he mumbled, leaning toward Raven to kiss her on the cheek. It had been 5 years since Starfire's disappearance, and still she haunted his dreams. He couldn't remember exactly how he had gotten together with Raven, but it almost seemed natural. Like destiny.

"Well, eat your pancakes and enjoy breakfast in bed. I have to go get some reading done," Raven announced, standing up and walking toward the door.

Staring at her back, Robin felt a pang of something he couldn't quite describe. The hood of her cape was down, letting her delightful purple hair glisten slightly in the low lit room. At that very moment, she was perfection. Robin wanted to reach out to Raven and tell her all of his wants and dreams and aspirations, but something held him back. Without another word, Raven left the room and Robin slowly slumped into the warmth of the sheets around him.

He loved her. That's what he had figured out with careful analysis and calculations. It had become the only thing that made sense.

* * *

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos… Azarath, Metrion…" Raven quietly meditated. She was in her old room which the team had converted into a sort of study area, though Raven was generally the only one to use it. However professional she might have looked on the outside didn't come close to her thoughts on the inside.

_You're kidding yourself, Raven. You're in a relationship that's going nowhere with a man who loves someone else._

This hadn't been the first night she had heard Robin screaming her name. Over and over as if she was the solution to all problems. What's your favorite color? Starfire. What's two plus two? Starfire. What's the meaning of life? Starfire. Who do you love? Starfire.

She hadn't dared asked him about it. That would be suicide. If he hadn't gotten mad at her, he'd be angry at himself, which was almost worse.

She tried to concentrate on meditating. Ever since the accident with Starfire, the remaining four Titans had been honing their skills, trying to become more powerful to compensate for the lack of a member. Cyborg had developed an upgrade to increase his performance. Beast Boy ran numerous obstacle courses, developing a keener sense of when to use each animal. Robin worked out almost constantly. Raven spent much of her time studying and meditating, slowly increasing her powers.

Robin always insisted that when Starfire came back (and he always emphasized the "when"), they would need to be ready to fight off Warp and whoever might join him. She fueled his want to be better. She was the reason for everything.

_And I'm just his plaything, holding her place at his side until she can most triumphantly return._

* * *

"With this new chip in me, I can do anything, man. Limitations? I don't think so. I just have to buff up the human half of me and I'll be invincible," Cyborg announced, lifting more weights than Beast Boy could ever hope to be able to move.

"Dude, that's pretty awesome. I wish I could have a magic thingamajig that would take all my limitations away," Beast Boy said in between morphs. He was standing in a sort of cell where random things would suddenly be thrown at him. Effortlessly, BB changed into a cheetah to dodge an axe, then a hawk to avoid a low flying chainsaw. He returned to human every once in a while to continue his conversation with Cyborg.

"Eh, it wasn't exactly magic. Five years in the making to get all the kinks out. But its about time I got an advancement. It stunk fighting the same way ever since you're a teenager."

"Hey, shut up man! Some of us are still in our late teens," grumbled Beast Boy.

Cyborg laughed. "That's right, isn't it? But that won't be for much longer. Soon little BB'll be 20. You know what that means?"

"Huh?" Beast Boy asked, stepping out of the cell.

"Par-tay time!"

* * *

A/N: Sorry for making this chapter a little shorter! There might be some age differences than what I thought up and the normal ideas. I was basically going with Beast Boy being 14 in the show, Cyborg and Robin 16 (since they both drive), and Raven and Star 15. That would make BB 19, Cy and Rob 21, and the girls 20 in this chapter. That also put them all around 35 when the actual episode commenced, which I think fit all of them except BB, who we'll just say ages quickly!

Here are some thank you's to all you awesome people that reviewed me:

raeandrob4eva – Thanks for being my first ever reviewer! I have to warn you that there's gonna be some Raven and Beast Boy stuff later on, but I'm definitely gonna try to keep the Raven Robin fans happy!

Faded Nights – Who woulda thunk poll and pole mean different things? Hehe, thanks for pointing that out! And I can't thank you enough for saying that the OOCness was okay, I kept worrying about that while writing and feeling like no one would like my story because of it!

dark16angel – Was this chapter a good dose of Robin Raven togetherness? There's gonna definitely be some more, filled with controversy and misguided love and scandals, etc, etc!

YoungAndHopeless91 – Episode extensions are definitely cool! I like this one sense I have a filled in beginning and a filled in end and all I have to do is write about these 20 years in between!

Strixvaria and blaze-firestorm – I hope my update was soon enough! I'm sorry if I take a while with things, what with school and all I hardly ever have time to write. Luckily I'm a senior in high school and I've already been accepted to my college of choice, so I really don't have to worry too much with homework!

nala456 – X-Men is awesome! Gambit's whole cards thing was always the coolest power in my opinion. When I was trying to come up with a bad guy, cards were the only thing I could think to easily write about!

Darkest flame – Don't know anything about The Flash, but that sounds really cool! I'll look into it. Thanks for thinking my story has potential, I'll try to do my best!

Neko-Miya – Mimi (in voice like in Seinfeld to Newman). Hehe, thanks for not making fun of me no matter how dorky I am!

Nevermoretheraven – Hehe, thanks for including me in your 300 reviews! You must read a whole lot!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the delay! What with homework and video games, I've had little time to actually put my brain to some use. I have to warn that this chapter gets a little racy, but nothing _too_ bad happens.

Chapter 3

"Are we sure we want to do this?" Raven mumbled.

"Of course, challenges are what makes us stronger," Cyborg announced, carefully putting the last piece in place.

"I wouldn't call this a challenge as much as torture," Raven mumbled to herself. Robin gave her a cute smirk and she blushed slightly.

"Alright ya'll, huddle up!" Cyborg whispered, beckoning Robin and Raven forward.

"Okay, he knows this is coming, but he doesn't know when or where. We gotta make it subtle and smooth. Catch him off guard."

"I didn't know a surprise party could be so… militaristic."

"We don't need that attitude young lady!" Cyborg glared at Raven. Robin rolled his eyes out of Cyborg's view and Raven smiled.

Cyborg cleared his throat. "As I was saying… Rae, you're gonna take the left flank, Robin the right. I'll be center. On my count we gotta ram him with all we got. Yell surprise and let him have it with the confetti! He won't know what hit –"

"Hey guys, what's going on? And why is it so dark in here?"

The three other Titans screamed as Beast Boy suddenly appeared in the center of their huddle. For a moment they paused with their mouths wide open as BB surveyed the room.

"Hey, we're having a party, aren't we? Is it a party for me? Awesome! I love parties!" Beast Boy bounced around, completely unaware of his friends' exasperated expressions.

"Did you… just… appear?"

"Fly. Very handy animal, I must say. Small but not too small," Beast Boy grinned, grabbing a party hat from a pile on the floor. Robin moved to turn on the lights and disco ball (which Cyborg had insisted they install, and after much whining and complaining, Robin had agreed on).

Cyborg was still in the center of the room, gaping at the other Titans.

"But… you… this was suppose to be… ah-man! All that work for nothing," Cyborg threw up his hands, grumpily heading for the punch table.

"Hey, no big. It's not like I know exactly what ya'll got me or anything," BB grinned, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Hey, presents are for after cake and ice cream," Raven said, pointing out the carefully designed desserts. The team had put extra care in the food, which they knew BB would enjoy. They had made a 4 foot tall ice cream statue filled with sprinkles and cherries, which could only be dwarfed by the 5 foot green cake next to it.

"I even used those nasty tofu eggs for the cake!" Cyborg said, forgetting his spoiled surprise and smiling from ear to ear.

"Is that why it's green?" BB asked suspiciously.

"No, we dyed the icing. Food coloring," Robin laughed, slapping Beast Boy upside the head. "It's like you. Only taller." Beast Boy glared while the others fell on the floor laughing.

* * *

"Wanna do something a little more… fun?" Robin whispered in Raven's ear, sending gentle shivers down her spine. After the gang had figured out four people just wasn't enough for a party, Cyborg had called up some old friends to drop by. The main room was now a sea of people, each of them quickly moving to the techno beat around them. 

In the center of the room, however, remained the Blorthog beads Starfire had left behind. Raven had produced a spell that constructed an invisible barrier around them. The beads seemed to provide a hope for some unreachable future…

Raven nodded her head at Robin's suggestion and allowed herself to be pushed through the crowd. They quickly dashed through the door and into the hallway to avoid any unnecessary comments from their friends. Raven wanted to giggle with excitement, no matter how unlike her it was. Robin's arm around her waist and tight muscles against her side made her feel dizzy. He gently pushed her into the study.

"So, what do you –"

"Shh," Robin hushed her, gently placing his finger to her lips. With his other hand he carefully traced her arm and neck, finally concluding his exploration at her cheek. "You're beautiful, you know?"

Raven turned away from him. Of all the things she was, she knew she wasn't beautiful. Her white porcelain skin, her awkward purple hair. She felt as far from beautiful as physically possible. Lost in her own thoughts momentarily, she hardly noticed Robin's smirk as he gingerly pulled her chin up to face him.

"I'm in love with you. I decide how gorgeous my girlfriend is. So don't tell me otherwise."

With that Robin aggressively pulled Raven toward him. At first the kisses were slow and reassuring. Gradually he became more forceful, his tongue tracing over hers with hot precision. Before either of them knew it, they were lying on the deep purple sofa, Robin carefully straddling Raven's slender body, enveloped in their own existence.

* * *

He hadn't meant to snoop. Perhaps it was merely in his nature to be where he wasn't suppose to be at exactly the wrong time. He had just been walking through the hallway, carefully avoiding Cyborg's rowdy friends who had come to _his_ birthday party. _You can only dance surrounded by drunk people for so long_, Beast Boy had concluded. 

It was then that he noticed the open door. The heavy breathing coming from within. _Curiosity killed the cat_, Beast Boy contemplated, quickly changing into a green kitten and carefully walking into the room.

Looking back on the situation, he couldn't understand why he had decided to venture closer. But of all the things he could have seen, the two bodies colliding against each other could have possibly been the worst of his expectations. He was fortunate to not be able to speak while in a different form, for when he saw her porcelain skin against his slightly tan back, he let out a sharp screech that could only be translated to _Raven_ if it were in English. The two on the couch quickly halted their endeavors and looked around the completely empty room.

* * *

_Shit, shit, shit!_ BB screamed in his fly brain. 

_What the hell are you doing, Beast Boy? Pull yourself together. What was that? You know that Raven and Robin have been going out. Those two have been more than birds of a feather lately…_

But the authoritative way his hand traced her neck. The deep sighs this produced. Her quiet whispers of _I love you_ in his ear…

_Shut up! This isn't getting you anywhere. Useless thoughts are just useless. Nothing more._

By this time Beast Boy had successfully flown into his room and had changed to normal on his bed. He couldn't exactly explain the tears running down his cheeks or the heaviness in his stomach. All he knew was that he didn't want tolive at that moment. He didn't want to see her in his arms. He didn't want to hear those three words from her lips. He didn't want to admit to himself the naked truth in front of his eyes.

_You're in love with her. You're in love with Raven._

* * *

A/N: Yay! I got the next chapter out! I'm really sorry it took me forever, hopefully the next chapter will be up a lot sooner. Sorry for leading so slowly into the drama, I have 20 years I need to cover and I'm trying to span it out as best as possible. And I kinda already gave away the ending of this chap in the last chap's AN, but I'm hoping that's okay. Also, I just wanna make sure everyone knows that I'm gonna keep with the episode's ending. Meaning, if you haven't seen "How Long Is Forever?" you might be disappointed how it ends up. It's gonna be kinda depressing. Kinda really depressing. Just a warning! 

raeandrob4eva – You rock! Lol, yeah, I'm hoping all people's favorite pairings will be happy, but I just hope everyone remembers the end of HLIF and how everyone is gonna end up. But it'll be the way they all get there that'll be fun!

Tigerfly57 – Well, in a way this is an alternate universe where Star never came back, but she still does come back… so, technically, this never happened, but at the same time it did. In a very odd way, the actual TV show is an alternate universe to the original universe when Starfire left. In a way. A very confusing astrophysics way.

Nevermoreinmymind – Lol! You have 97 favorites? That's awesome! You should go yell at the fanfic people about your lost 3 favorites, hehehe... ;)

Rochelleteentitan – Yeah, I'm really hoping to please everyone with this fic. I actually really like the rob/star pairing, too, so I might end up writing one of those fics later on. I think I basically like all pairings… except anyone with Cyborg… and BB/Star… that'd just be odd.

dark16angel – _Runs and hides from rabid mice_. Lol, alright, I hope that this will have been the longest span of time between chapters. My goal is gonna be a chapter a week at the least. School is evil, however, and might prevent that. And the ending is gonna be really depressing, unfortunately, since I really wanna keep with the actual episode…

Majestical – Hehehe, everyone seems to really like Rob/Rae. I hope everyone who does really liked the Rob/Rae moment in this chapter! Too much, too little? I didn't wanna write a full out lemon or something along those lines which would force me to raise the rating to R. Maybe in another fic…


End file.
